How Do I Get Over Regret?

July 26, 2022

Do Regrets Ever Go Away?

I don’t really know how I feel about regrets.

We all have those moments that we think back on with mixed emotions.

There are those embarrassing moments that feel pretty awful at the time, but turn into stories that you laugh about with your friends years later. And you learn not to regret them, because they turn into something that you can shake your head at fondly.

There are those moments of heartbreak that leave you crying in your bedroom, blasting Taylor Swift. But they turn into stories that you reminisce on one day, the warm feelings you had toward that person eventually overcoming any kind of ending. And you learn not to regret them, because the good memories are so worth it.

But then there are the moments that don’t turn into something beautiful. They fester and they burn and they still send a jolt of anger through you whenever you think about them for too long. And yeah, maybe you learned a lesson. But you’re left wondering why it had to be taught to you in such a brutal way.

As much as those moments are painful, I don’t know if “regret” is the right word for how I feel about them. Sometimes I wish I could go back and warn myself of what’s to come. But I had to go through it to even know that it was something to be warned about.

Some of the worst moments of my life were also some of the best teachers I’ve ever had.

So I don’t think it has to be as cut-and-dry as regretting them or not. We don’t have to give ourselves a false ultimatum between resentment and gratitude. We can be grateful for the lesson we learned while still being furious about the situation. And letting those conflicting feelings exist at the same time might be able to help us let go of the feelings that might still be causing us pain. 

We can let the situation exist as it was – painful, educational, and in the past. Where it belongs.

So let yourself feel it, let yourself regret it, let yourself be thankful for it, let yourself be mad about it.

But eventually, let yourself let it go.